Into the Great Wide Open

Alright Internet, here I am. Joining the navel-gazing multitude of 'bloggers' with the illustrious idea of edification and entertainment for the masses. Or in my case, for updating (and amusing) my friends and family while I navigate the seas of life with the heavy anchor of cancer. So let's get on with it...

This year has been hard. There is just no getting around that simple truth. It has been a roller coaster in all ways: physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. Cancer changes you. What it has done for me is to strip away all the excess mental and emotional baggage and bring me closer to my core Self. It's changed me into more ME. My middle name is Hope, and I spend some time everyday using that word to lift myself up and out of whatever may be bringing me down. It's a mantra, a religion of sorts, and with it I can smile and charge on with my attempt to suck the marrow out of every moment of life.

Yesterday I got the results of my latest PET scan. It shows that there is progression of the metastatic cancer in my lungs. It shows cancer cells in both hilar lymph nodes (before it was only in one), growth in both tumors, and a new so-tiny-almost-can't-see-it tumor. This means we move on to systemic chemotherapy now and wait on the lung surgery. On the good news side, my belly and rectal area are completely clear, which means the first surgery got it all. The bright side is that the rest of my summer will no longer be ruined by another surgery recovery. On the other hand, my summer will now be ruined by chemo. Toh-mayto, tuh-mahto. I've already got an appointment lined up with my oncologist this week. And I plan to keep up with the updates here.

I've spent most of today picking my chin back up and getting this dang blog started. I'm feeling rather accomplished. Right now I'm already focusing on and looking forward to a sexy car night out with friends tomorrow. We'll put a shine on the Mustang, I'll wear a summer dress, and we'll drink milkshakes at the Gimore diner car. It's going to be fantastic.