Sunday, April 2, 2017

A distant ship smoke on the horizon

Trips abroad: 1
Scans/biopsies: 4
Chemo sessions: 4 and continuing
Results: 50/50

Been a little busy in the last expanse of time from last post to this one. Some of it completely amazing, and other days less so. Seems to be the new balance of my life.

Just last week I did the first session in the newest chemotherapy round; continuing with the indefinite nature of systematic treatment. This was following a whole set of scans from brain to bottom in just the last week's time.

Results for the most part tell us that there is very little change from the last set of scans. Which is slightly disappointing to me. I was enjoying the shrinkage that was happening with every chemo round before this. It boosted my hope and expectations. We seem to be in a bit of a standstill at the moment. With the unfortunate addition of a new lung tumor which has been causing its own other issues. I've had a persistent cough and ragged throat for a couple months now. We now know that this is at least partly caused by a small tumor in my upper left lung that has also created a small amount of collapse. This explains the inability to get a full breath and my easy tiredness.

We had a biopsy done through an endoscopic bronchoscopy on Friday. They said I should expect the results from that by the end of this coming week. Really all they want to know is if it is a new metastasis or something else entirely. My expectation (and the odds really) is that it is a metastasis. Which might drive us toward a conversation about this continued chemotherapy or the possibility of switching up the treatment. I am planning on coming in to the conversation with both my oncologist and the pulmonologist with no expectations and ready to learn more.

I have things to say about my trip and finding the new rhythms in my life recently. But those will have to come in another post when it's a little earlier and my brain isn't punching out.

Friday, February 3, 2017

Emerging From the Burrow

It's been a month of mostly hermitage for me. The cold and gray winter days often pull me indoors and inwards. It takes quite a pull to get me to don the many layers needed to traverse out into the cold, snow and blowing winds. And though I have often thought of updating here, I've been easily distracted and my thoughts too wandering to capture on a page.

This has been a slow and quiet month. I have been happily nesting into my new home. Yes, once again I have made another move. My belongings have become quite accustomed to their boxes. But I am slowly unpacking them in a more permanent manner. It has been comforting to find myself in a space that I can feel is somewhat mine as well. It has also made this latest round of chemo a more bearable ordeal.

As I mentioned in my last post at the end of the year, I've started another 6-session round. I have a new oncologist and a new treatment facility that is quite a step up in care and abilities. And though we are staying with the continuous chemotherapy run for now, I have some hope that further testing will expose future treatment options if/when this chemo loses its efficacy.

Infusion was Tuesday, and I finished with another damnable pump yesterday. It was a more difficult treatment week, which seems to be the way with this round so far. I try to simply focus on recovery, but some days I do look back upon the hours and wonder if I could have been somewhat productive instead. Then I am reminded, both internally and externally, that recovery week is just that - for recovery. Those productivity thoughts are just a holdover from years past when busyness was more the timbre of my days.

Luckily I have had a wonderful distraction for this week. Many months back my Paramour and I booked a trip to the Portuguese islands of Madeira and Sao Miguel. There was packing and research and plenty of excitement to prepare to leave today. We are already one leg in to a full two weeks vacation, one week on each island. (Currently on a rather long layover in Boston.) We will be going whale watching and also have a photography tour booked. We plan to take advantage of the hotel spas, the heated pools with views of the ocean, likely rent a car and fully explore the islands taking tons of pictures, and enjoying the warmer weather. Though it will only be in the 60's, perhaps eking right up to 70 degrees, it is certainly a lovely change from the cold and gray of Michigan winter. Not a bad way to spend my 44th birthday.

So I am off to get spoiled across the Atlantic. I shall definitely miss attending what would be my 24th Val Day in a row (SCA event). Though I believe that it won't wear on me too badly while I'm sailing along keeping an eye out for a variety of whales and dolphins that afternoon. Stay warm and happy my Friends.