Home and feeling pretty wiped out after chemo treatment number five. This means there is only ONE MORE TO GO! And, yeah, I'm a little excited about that.
My blood counts were pretty poor today. They were poor last treatment, but they've tanked a bit more since then. We went from marked L for low, to marked LL for "holy double low Batman." They're looking very similar to the numbers during last summer's chemo. This is how it works... breaking me down to build back up again. "We have the technology." But my doctor told me that studies of breast cancer patients in adjuvant therapy shows that continuing treatment, rather than adding in delays for counts to rise, has a better success rate in the long run. I don't have breast cancer, and they haven't done equivalent studies for rectal cancer. But he believes that there would be parallels and was inclined to continue with treatment today. Of course I want to stay on schedule and get this over with, and I was happy to agree with him. We just have to be aware that I am VERY highly susceptible to infections right now. So we continue the rest and relax regimen and avoid all sick or potentially sick people. Should be easier now that the warmer weather is here and flu and cold season is abating.
Was not a very exciting chemo session at all. I was a bit tired to start out with. The massage therapist was right there when I sat down and gave me a lovely hand massage while we talked about world travels. Soon as they accessed me and started fluids, I ordered up some shawarma for lunch. It arrived not long after the Ativan shot, which really started to make me feel tired. Soon as I was done eating I pulled on some headphones and pretty promptly fell asleep for nearly an hour. Could have slept more but the nurse needed to wake me. Was able to barely keep awake for the last half hour and the final push and pump hook up. My ride arrived perfectly (thanks John!) and was able to carry my bag out for me.
Set myself up on the couch and put on the television. Made it about half an hour before falling out for a two-hour nap. Could have slept longer for that one too. But the cats were insistent that it was dinner time, and the incessant meowing and pawing at my head was a little difficult to ignore. Tried to lay back down again, and although my body is tired, my mind was not ready for more sleep. So you get this lovely update instead.
I hope everyone out there in internet land is doing well and strong in their own daily battles. I am getting so very close to the end of this big one. It makes staying positive that much easier. And I'm growing in gratefulness for all the good things in my life. That I am able to be "retired" and take all the time needed to recoup after these treatment sessions. That I have terrifically amazing people around me to support and lift me up. That the spring is here and bringing warmer days to keep my neuropathy at an acceptable level. That I have a pantry full of various tasty teas while I can only drink warm things. That the farmer's market has opened and I'll be able to visit it this weekend and start a summer full of yummy local fruit and veg. That I have family that loves me so intently, and I right back at them. And so much more...
This is a pretty good life I've got going. Cancer is just an alley full of speed humps along my path. But I'm making my way through it nice and slow and easy. Maybe a few more faded scars in the end. Mostly only I'll notice them anyway. And the road is clear ahead.