Sunday, October 4, 2015

An Oddity and an Update

So, in coming to my blog after many neglected months... I found an unfinished draft of a post from March 20, the Spring Equinox. It was titled "The Give and Take" and I shall present it to you all after this post. It seems to hold more poignancy now, as all things shall in the light of the news I have to share. It ends, somewhat abruptly (unfinished as it was), talking about the coming of spring and warmer weather. Ironic now that I have felt the full falling of Fall upon us here in Michigan, and being little more than a week from the Fall Equinox.

It has been a couple of days without sun here this week, or at least a few days since I have been of the mind to notice the sun if it has shown its face here in the western corner of the state. The trees have begun to show signs of color, and though that brings a certain beauty to the landscape, I always find myself wistful and longing for the lost warmth of sun-soaked summer days. I truly am a child of the sun and find my best reveling in the heat. And it has been a summer of reveling in my world. I have sat many afternoons in the heat and sun these past months, in a place of mindfulness with nothing but my Self to find and consider; measuring my time by the visits of a hummingbird. I have found myself in great repose and coming from such a place of Center that revelations have abounded. Never have I been so at ease in the whole of Victoria.

Irony, karma, luck (that coy mistress), they do find their time in the sun as well. I recognize that I never did write a blog update about my March PET scan. Needless to say, it was a good one with less uptake in the hilum regions we had been watching and my oncologist and I decided that after a year of close watching we could move the schedule back to a more regular six-month one. So last Monday (Sept 27) I got all radioactive again. I received those PET results this week Tuesday and it appears that the right hilum finally decided it was done playing hide-and-seek and was going to become a full-blown metastatic tumor. The plan is to get a biopsy of it to be certain it is a metastasis and then to make decisions regarding treatment. Could be a surgical option; could be some combination of that and/or radiation and/or chemotherapy to follow. Of course now that we are in the zone of recurrence, I shall endeavor to update the blog more often to keep all informed of the state of treatment and plans.

However... this week was not yet done with me. I was hospitalized Wednesday night following some vision issues and a loss of consciousness. An MRI the next morning revealed that I have a sizable (2-3 cm) brain tumor on my right occipital lobe, and three much smaller ones also on the right side. We are moving quickly to address this newest piece of the cancer puzzle. I have already met with my radiation oncologist and there is the plan to have pointed area brain radiation this coming week. I will have the schedule of it tomorrow.

If I am completely honest, I really have no full idea what all this means yet. There is the possibility that I could have some peripheral vision loss or a field blank following the radiation. But truly, there will be no knowing until afterwards. I am prepared to face this head-on, with the most Hope, and strongest attitude I can possibly muster. There is no lying down for this continued fight. I will find myself on the other side of whatever this week has to offer being the best that I can bring to bear in this world.

There is much more sitting in my mind, but I have run out of the clarity to express it. Perhaps in the days to come I will find more words. And I certainly shall try.

16 comments:

  1. We are all here, and you are so very LOVED.
    @}------

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  2. Lean on your friends whenever you need to. <3 We love you.

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  3. I'm available to help out however you need. I'm a great chauffeur. You are in my thoughts.

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  4. Adding my voice to the chorus of love and support. I'll be there for you in whatever way I can - please don't ever hesitate to ask.

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  5. Hang in there Victoria! You have been and shall remain in my thoughts. Call me if you need/want something.

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  6. This is Charlie by the way... The only way I can seem to get a comment on here is by being Anonymous.

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  7. As Galen said, we are all here. There are a lot of people who love you and are willing to help however you need it. I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. If there is anything I can do to help, I will. *hugs*

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  8. I wish I had better words, but they are escaping me. You are in our thoughts and prayers. Hugs all around and let us know if we can do anything to help.

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  9. Sending you love. And thank you for the updates.

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  10. Given my recent experiences with Cancer, in any form, attitude is EVERYTHING,Stay positive, stay strong and know that you have a plethora of folks who will fight this by your side. I would be honored to be included as one of them, though we are hours apart, you my friend have made an impact on me for the better and I love you for it!!!

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  11. Nuke 'em from orbit, only way to be sure!

    Best of luck, hon.

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  12. You are will survive! There is no question, you are a fighter.

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  13. Thinking of you and sending love and light your way.

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