I attempted to be productive today. Only found mild success. Working on projects for my sister and the coming nephlet. (I blatantly use my major in English as an excuse to create words.) I'm pretty excited about the whole prospect of being a kooky aunt and am having fun being involved with the process. Baby shower invitations are 90% ready to print. The material for my first sewing project is washed, dried and ready to be cut tomorrow. I've been practicing my crochet again for many cute little upcoming projects and items. I also got dinner cooked and the kitchen cleaned. Though I wasn't expecting to be that on top of the latter this early in the evening.
My plan for this part of the evening was to see a local band playing free at a pub in town. But when I got to the pub... no band and mostly empty. A bit annoying since I was looking forward to it all day. My positive attitude has really permeated however. I double checked to make sure that it was the pub and band that were wrong and I didn't have the wrong week (I didn't, the liars!). Then ran an errand and picked up ice cream and champagne to indulge myself as a consolation. How do you stay down with that kind of treat? Put on some peppy music and accomplished the dishes and kitchen as soon as I got home (after half a glass of champagne of course). Now I'm rather pleased and also accomplishing this blog entry. Go me.
A year or more ago the evening wouldn't be going nearly so well. After looking forward to going out all day I would have been sorely disappointed that the band was not there. I would likely have harumphed and allowed myself to sit in disappointment for the rest of the evening. Upon coming home, I would have seen cleaning up as a huge chore. And if I did seek indulgence, I would have weighed guilt on myself about it. What a chit I was back then! I have become so much more laid back. A real 'shit happens' kind of gal who rolls with the punches. I think I like me better this way. Part of what has helped with this mental transition has been allowing myself to let go of control. Or to be more honest, to let go of a false sense of control. I can plan for things, can even allow myself the indulgence of imagining how they'll play out. But I have no control over how places, people and outside events actually happen. The best thing I can do is be there, in the moment, and make the best of the situation. Or make a new, better situation. There have been some awfully good lessons learned this year. Who knew that cancer could beat you down and yet build you up at the same time.