Nearly at the end of this very long year. It has been quite the experience. I started the year with doctors and ended that way too. Saw my oncologist this morning and we can't really talk chemotherapy possibilities until after a new PET scan. He said I look great and everything sounds great, and he'll see me again after the next scan to talk about what's next. They'll be calling me Wednesday with the date for it. So... still in recovery and feeling good mode.
Heading out of town for a Prohibition themed party/ball tonight. Ringing in the New Year dressed to the nines and surrounded by a bunch of fun people and friends. Making the best of all the good days. Currently reading a book by Augusten Burroughs and one chapter really resonated with me about how to live life in the present and not be trapped by the past. I can't really shrink the whole chapter down here, but my favorite part of it was this bit:
"Sometimes, a particular trauma may be the largest thing we have ever experienced. So we kind of move into it, make it our home. Because there's nothing in our lives on the scale of that loss or that trauma. So, you need a larger life. Something that can successfully compete with your past."
Live a larger life. Indeed.
I've been doing that most of this year and plan on continuing to do so. I highly recommend it to everyone. Make the most of each day, be there for every moment, and revel in the joy of everything. It's hard to get highjacked by the past or worries or the 'shoulds' of the world when you are really *there* for each moment. When you are busy being present, you suddenly don't feel too busy or harried. Things seem to fall into place easier. And when they don't, you just let it go and trust that the moments for those things will come.
I hope that all of you can look back at this year and see all the joy and love that came your way. And I wish you all larger lives in the next year to come. I'll see you there.
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