Went in for this week's chemotherapy and was turned away. This morning's blood work shows that my WBC counts are in the red zone and are too low for them to risk giving me treatment this week. I asked if the cold was affecting this, and was told that being on the antibiotics and fighting a cold should have boosted my WBC count, not lowered it. This is a result of ongoing chemotherapy and is not all that uncommon. It has been two months of poisoning, and my body just isn't ready to handle more yet. I don't feel any worse or different than I normally do at this stage of things, and that's not unusual either. This just means that my immune system is almost non-existent right now. And I was told not to have any visitors that are sick or potentially think they might be sick. So back to hermitage, taking it easy and getting as much rest as possible.
There is a shot (neupogen) they can give me that will artificially increase my WBC count. They could choose to do that this week, and then be more certain that I would be up for treatment next week. I'm now scheduled in for chemo again next Thursday (Sept 6). The problem with the neupogen shot, however, is that it can have its own set of lovely side effects such as muscle and bone aches, headaches, and reaction/tenderness around the injection site, amongst others. And apparently it is a drug that is often a hassle getting covered by health insurance. I didn't hear back from my oncologist today, so I don't know where the choice on this stands.
I was very discouraged when they sent me home this afternoon. After all, I'm on the fast track to kicking cancer's ass through whatever means necessary. This road block is not a stop I want to make on the journey. I wish my body could be as strong as my will.
Luckily, my afternoon ride was able to come early to get me back home. After a wee bit of wallowing at the house, I took myself out for a late lunch at my favorite restaurant. Then sat outside one of my favorite coffee houses in town with a nice cappuccino and an excellent book. Followed that up with a long nap. I awoke feeling like I had sidestepped the depression that had been hovering, waiting for its opportunity to get a foot in my mental door. After all, this ended up being a much nicer day than one spent hooked up to chemo all afternoon. And I have another week of feeling pretty good ahead of me instead of the post-chemo days of uselessness. I'm certain one week's delay will not derail my ass-kicking plan.
Serendipity is a beautiful thing. I am just wrapping this up when what song starts playing in the background but Don't Give Up by Peter Gabriel (feat. Kate Bush).
Couldn't say it better myself. Thank you Peter for bringing the first true smile to me today.